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Saturday, August 20, 2016

Adversity either splits you up or helps you grow

This past few weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions.  Between my husband being outed to his family and friends in Nigeria and me writing a response that went viral (man it really is crazy to see what goes viral), the community and family support has been amazing.  There are thousands of people who messaged us, found us on our blogs or instagram, or saw us on the street to tell us that God loves us and that we should ignore the haters.  The few haters said and did some hurtful things to me, but mostly to David.  As much as we wanted to ignore them, we saved every message to show to the immigration courts.

David and I also both started back at work, which in itself can be stressful.  The air conditioning in my office hasn't worked well since I started the job, but was totally busted this week.  School has started again, so our foot and email traffic has increased significantly.  Add to that interview requests about our story from CNN, the BBC, a PBS Station, and a few other lesser known media, and you have a super busy everything.

To top that off, David's wedding bring broke, we both got a flu bug that knocked us for a loop (and made me wonder if someone made a voodoo doll of us), and we are still trying to unpack and organize after the wedding.  Combine that with a traffic ticket, some unexpected bills, some returned immigration paperwork because we read the directions wrong, and this ungodly heat that may finally have broken in Brooklyn.

None of this alone really accounts for much adversity.  All of it together has added stress on to both of us that could very easily have broken us.  I thought it might.  When my house is a mess, I feel like my life is a mess.  When I can no longer respond to messages in a timely fashion, I feel unprofessional.  When I miss work because I am sick, I feel like I'm letting people down.  Messing up on paperwork and with traffic laws also doesn't make me feel very good about myself.

But now, I have David.  He is just taking this all in, helping me absorb it and figure out solutions.  David is reminding me to smile, to laugh, to eat (he made a scrumptious African stew for dinner the other night), to dress in nice clothes (dressing up makes me feel better), and to get exercise.  When all if this shit is happening to David and he should be the one stressed, he instead is helping me deal with it.  All of this bad stuff (and I'm probably missing half of what I feel like has happened to us over the past three weeks) has only made our love grow stronger and our communication better.

I feel like I got more than a husband when I married this amazing man.  I feel like I found someone to help me live my life to the fullest, to pull me up when I'm down, and to live the adventure that is life together.  Thanks, God.

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