Following the path - sometimes your mistakes lead you elsewhere

I took a "sort of" sick day yesterday.  I am still trying to beat a double ear infection (another appointment tomorrow).  I went to my primary care physician's practice, but they couldn't help me.  I may have mentioned this before, but I find less money in Manhattan than I do in Brooklyn.  I walked out of my doctor's office and immediately dialed an ENT on my cell.  It was blazing hot outside (over 100 with the heat index), and I was dressed in long pants and a dress shirt for an early evening meeting.  I walked down the block past a school yard.  At the edge of the school yard, was a portly gent with a mustache and goatee, and a vest smoking his pipe.  At his feet, and I mean like almost touching his shoe, was a penny.  If you've ever met me, you know I am by no means shy.  I walked up close to him, bent over, and picked up the penny.  He didn't bat an eye and I was one penny richer.

I then made my way to the upper east side for my dinner meeting.  I walked and rested in the shade a few times until I was off the half hour of hold with a hospital to only find out they don't take my insurance.

I took the 6 train up to the Hunter College stop.  As I got out of the train, I looked around.  The place was packed with college kids out in the plaza.  I looked around.  Before moving to the city, and even after having lived here, I had (and have) a very good sense of direction.  I can typically look at a map and then just go somewhere.  I'm frequently pretty close to where I meant to end up.  There is something about New York that is different.  I'm not sure if it is because all of my traveling is done underground in the subway, that the subway stairwells make many turns having you go to and from underground and above, the fact that you can't see the sun because of the tall buildings, or if there is some super magnetic force differential that is messing up my internal workings, but whatever it is, I'm usually not headed in the right direction.  I frequently come out of the train and walk an entire block before I realize I've gone the wrong way.  Then I either look it up on my phone's gps, or just walk in the other direction.

Yesterday was no different.  I came out of the subway, looked around, and ended up walking in the wrong direction.  Half way down the block, I noticed a penny on the ground and picked it up.  About the same time I saw the penny, I could read the street sign on the end of the block and knew I was headed in the wrong direction.

As I walked back, I realized that getting pulled in the wrong direction, or off the path you had planned, isn't always a bad thing.  I'm a planner...like I plan when to use the bathroom, when to eat, and basically draw up an itinerary in my head for almost every day down to the minute.  It used to bother me to be thrown off my plan (sometimes still does).  Given the stresses and forces pulling on me in the city, I'm trying to embrace a new philosophy.

Sometimes you are pulled off your path or plan because there is a blessing just steps off it that you were going to miss!


That's it.  That's my lesson.  I need to plan (oh God yes I need to plan), but to embrace the fullness of life and the things that happen that throw your plan out of alignment.  I never would have found that penny had I gone in the direction I needed to right off.  Sometimes it's not a penny, but a beautiful fountain, a flower, a museum, or (my favorite) a bakery with amazing chocolate filled croissants.  

As the poet Robert Burns said, “The best laid schemes o' mice an' men / Gang aft a-gley,” or as we have come to say it, the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry."  



Don't be afraid to plan. It's a good thing to do.  But, please, know that if your plans are changed by something you can't control, there can be much good and many blessings that come from it.  

Two pennies found, one penny given - pray often, judge not, and accept compliments and gifts when you get them.

This morning, I woke up and got some stuff together to run errands.  My first errand was to visit Walgreens to have some photos printed.  On the floor in front of the Walgreen's photo counter was my first penny of the day.  I then walked out to McDonalds to grab something for breakfast while my photos were being printed.

I sat in McDonalds and made list of other things to get done during the day.  This is a Brooklyn McDonalds.  No one waits in an orderly line here.  They all stand back milling around waiting for someone to call the next person and then they all run up and argue who is next.  It was the strangest thing.  I also felt a little sad for the poor man who was holding open the door for people in the hopes for some type of tip.  He definitely dressed the part, even if he wasn't poor.  I said a quick prayer for him.  

I feel conflicted about that sometimes.  You'll note that I see and sometimes interact with many people asking for money.  I've been conditioned to not give anyone money on the street because they may use it for drugs or alcohol.  Instead, I try to give out granola bars if I have them.  I also try to support local food cupboards financially and with my food donations as often as I can.  Still, I sat there eating my breakfast wondering if I should buy that guy some breakfast too.  In the end, I just said a prayer for him.  

I've been praying a lot lately for people I see on the street.  As a gay man, I find that sometimes all the people around me do is judge.  They judge the way people look, act, walk, talk, dress, their hair, their nails, the car they drive, the job they have.  I know it is easy to fall into that rut.  Each time I think one of those thoughts that is judgmental of someone's looks or clothes, etc, I am trying to push it out of my head and instead ask God to bless them.  

This was the view outside the window of McDonalds.  That's the post office with the train tracks over head.  

After eating, I walked back and got my photos along with a Birthday card for my sister-in-law.  I then drove to AT&T because today is the day that I am qualified for a phone upgrade.  In front of the store, I found another penny (see photo below).  

I came home from the store and rested a bit (I'm still trying to kick this double ear infection).  

I then found a bit of energy and wanted to stop by a friend's house where they were having a pool party.  I walked over, popped in, and laid down in the shade by the pool.  

A friend has been staying with me for a few months until he can get a job and find housing.  He came to the party.  Funny, he has been reading my blog.  He brought me a penny that he found on the street.  He said it was another blessing for me.  I told him to keep it, that I didn't find it.  He insisted, so I took it.  I'm reminded, by this incident, that I need to remember to take those blessings that are given to me and just say thank you.  This includes money, food, compliments, and offers of help when I need it.  I'm not saying that it always makes sense to accept help, but the rest of the stuff.  I need to stop feeling so damn independent and just accept the help and love from others.  

Next time you see me, don't be afraid to pay me a compliment, give me a gift, or just show me some love.  If I try to push you away, remind me to accept the blessings I'm given with an open heart.  That's what I want people to do when I give to them.  

Four pennies and a double ear infection

This morning, I walked to breakfast with my brother and his family.  Not being in Brooklyn, I doubted we would find any change.  Even when I go to Manhattan, I notice less change.

One of the things that happens when you start finding money on the sidewalk daily is that you don't spend as much time looking up.  You spend more of your time looking forward at your feet than you do noticing the world around you.  I'm not saying that I walk with my eyes glued on my feet, or on the ground, but I do spent more time scanning the ground than the scenery.  The only exception is when I am with someone or have my camera around my neck.

I'm still not sure how he saw them first, but my twin brother found two pennies on our walk this morning.  He insisted that I take them since I have been finding and collecting change every day.  We then went to an outlet mall where I found one bright shiny penny.  My brother noticed another duller version in the same mulch.

When I see such clearly shiny pennies on a very dark surface, I do wonder how someone missed them. That was four pennies to add to my jar.  I was going to keep the jar as one that is dedicated only to money found in Brooklyn, but I think that any money found on the streets or sidewalk should count.  I'm keeping it separate from any change I get from making a purchase.

In addition to having a great time catching up with my brother, I developed yet another ear infection.  These seem to be a regular occurrence for me.  This time, the nurse practitioner said both ears had an inner ear infection.  More medicine and a hope that maybe I'll hear better now…WHAT…yes, my hearing has been not very good since February.  I thought it might be that I'm getting older, but I'm wondering if the monthly ear infection is just one that has never really fully gone away.  Hopefully this round of medicine will help.  If not, I'm blessed and I know that the solution will be in front of my eyes.

I hope you are all enjoying your long weekend :)

Penny in a kayak and a lost paddle in a muddy lake

Today, I decided to escape Brooklyn and visit my twin brother, the man who is my best friend, in the suburbs of Philly.  I met him and his in-laws at Marsh Creek park.  It's a great little water front park north of Philly.  You can rent kayaks, canoes, paddle boards, etc. there.  I got him a kayak for Christmas and he got an additional inflatable one to bring on trips.

When I get to the kayak area, I see my family,  I meet the new puppy named Abbey, and take my niece and nephew to get ice cream (what is an uncle for after all).  When I get back to the waterfront, my brother and I catch up a bit and the kids have lots to say all at the same time while showing me the dog and talking a mile a minute as kids are apt to do when they see you after a hiatus.  My brother and the kids go out on the kayaks.  Even though there is a sign that says no swimming, I decide to go in a swim around the kids in the kayak to spend more time with them.  

John, my brother, gets in his kayak to kayak next to them in the inflatable.  The kids can't seem to figure out who should paddle when on what side and keep going in circles.  I think I'll be funny, so I sit on the back of John's kayak.  Of course, I should realize, when you put two 200 plus pound men on a kayak, it's going to go under.  We laughed as he got wet and so did I.  The water was a nice temp and we needed the laugh anyway.  John dropped his paddle (he swore it floated), and we picked up the kayak to dump out the water.   The kids were still spinning in circles and were within a few swimming strokes away, so we weren't worried.  As we tip the kayak to dump out the water, a penny slides down the length of the kayak and hits my hand.  I'm still not sure if John planted it there (he reads my blog).  I ask him and he says he had no money in his pocket and it must be from a previous trip.  He gives it to me.  I give it back since it's probably his.  He insists it's my penny from heaven for the day.  I silently thank God and put it in my swim trunks pocket.  

John gets in his kayak and we look around for the "paddle that floats."  As I suspected, the paddle has not floated.  There is very little current where the kayakers are, and I think in the short time we were there, the paddle would still be floating somewhere around us.  It wasn't.  I asked John's wife to come help me.  The water is very cloudy there and your can't see the bottom.  After about 10 minutes of searching the area where we thought it was, I found it.  John felt that I was lucky.  I think I just have a good memory for locations.  I am blessed though…doubly.  Thanks to Gram, Gramp, and God. 

John and I definitely love just being together.  

The one unfortunate thing that happened when I was in the kayak area searching for the paddle is that I stubbed my toe.  I don't know if it is broken or just sprained, but it does hurt.  I stubbed it on a rock under water.  This should make my walk or bike to work more challenging in the next few weeks.  

After that, John and I spent time playing in the water with the kids, kayaking, swimming, and enjoying our time together.  We went as a family to a mexican restaurant for dinner, then John's wife took the kids while John and I went to a few stores to get things that are not as easy to find in Brooklyn.

I was glad to find my penny of the day.  I hope to find at least one tomorrow.  Getting away from Brooklyn is also a refreshing break on occasion.  Being away helps me appreciate parts of Brooklyn and wish other parts would change.  

I hope you all found your blessings today.  

Life is short - live every day to the fullest.

I've taken a few days away from writing since being hit by the car.  My body is healed, but my psyche still needs some healing.  I'm left with the lingering thoughts of how short life can really be.  I keep having flashbacks to earlier this week as I heard screeching brakes and a large black SUV tire stopped inches from my head as it crushed my front tire of my bike.  

I moved to Brooklyn in March after deciding that I didn't like the new structure of the office I was in under the new Vice President.  Brooklyn wasn't my first choice.  I have lived in and loved many places.  Rochester, New York holds a particular fondness for me.  I also really enjoyed Chicago and Washington, DC, but the job offer came here.  

When I moved here, I was still hurting from the loss of my Gramma B. (I guess to be correct, it's Grandma, but I always called her Gramma and that's what she is to me).   I didn't spend enough time with my Gram.  I saw her briefly as I came home for the holidays.  She was always helping in the kitchen or keeping busy when she came over or we went there.  I remember as a kid that I thought she was cooler than every other kids Gram because she wore Reebok sneakers.  I moved here to Brooklyn less than three months after her funeral.  My mom was still (and continues) to be taking the loss really badly.  When I was in Oneonta, I was only a four hour drive away and felt like I was more easily accessible to my family.  I moved into Bed-Stuy in Brooklyn.  My parking wasn't worked out then (it still isn't) at work, so I started by walking to work.  

I noticed that there seemed to be money on the sidewalks everywhere.  I'd find at least four or five pennies every day.

When I saw the money here, the first thing I thought of was my Gram.  You see, I was very worried (I'm still not quite sure, in fact) that living here would be super costly and that I hadn't negotiated enough salary to make it work.  I was also struggling emotionally with not just the loss of Gram, but the loss of my Oneonta community, the separation from my friends there, and the loneliness that happens when you move somewhere new.  

I see a shiny penny, or dirty old green or black one, on the ground, and I bend to pick it up.  I smile, thank God, and then say, "Hi, Gram!  Thanks for watching out for me."  Funny thing, I also think of my grandpa (dad's father) who always used to pick up pennies and say, "these things add up, you know."  

After a few weeks of picking up pennies and nickles, dimes, quarters, and even two one dollar bills, I stated saying thanks to God and hi to them both.  Neither one had an easy life. and both were very kind to me.  I can picture them up in heaven figuring out where and when to place these little blessings for me to find.  

  

This is the last photo that I have with my Gramma. 

The thing that some of you don't know about my Gram, and why I bring her up, is that she lived every moment to the fullest (more about my grandfather another day).  She wanted to see, do, hear, and experience every moment she could in life.  I feel like I can't live up to how amazing she was.  Many of you may feel that way about your grandmothers.  Mine was truly inspiring.  She travelled all over the country alone and with friends.  She sometimes got hurt, and sometimes got lost.  She didn't have a lot of money.  She always had adventure.   Her very spirit was one of adventure and curiosity.  

Even with her challenges, Gram always smiled.  I don't even remember her not smiling when she was crying at my grandpa's funeral.  She had a smile and tears.  The first time I ever saw her lips not smiling was in her casket.  She also had so much love to give.  She was always offering a place to stay, warm food, a cup of steaming hot tea, a warm hug, ears that would listen, and a message of "there, there, it will be ok."  

I didn't realize most of this until she died.  I just thought she was kind and loving to her family.  She gave a lot to a lot of people even though she had so little.  

Why do I bring this up today?  As I think about the past few days, I realize that I could have died on the spot on Tuesday night when that car hit my bike and knocked me over.  

I'm proud to say that, like my Gram, I am living life to the fullest.  I'm not letting life pass me by.  I'm embracing the good and the bad and being as giving as I can in a city that costs so much.  

I hope that, no matter when I leave this earthly realm, people remember me as a man who lived life to the fullest.  

Remember…pennies add up to dollars, and life is too short to let the tough stuff get you down.  Live it while you have it.  

Hit by a car, a penny, and a dime

This morning, I was joking with my coworker that I might get hit by a car one of these times when I was picking up change.

I wasn't picking up change, but tonight, I was hit by a car.  I'm ok, but my bike is not. I just got back to my apartment and I'm still a bit shaky as I write this.  I guess adrenaline will do that to you.

I decided after biking to and from work today that I wanted to go to Prospect Park to run with the Brooklyn Frontrunners group (http://frny.org/fun-runs/tuesday-fun-run-brooklyn/).  I changed my clothes and hopped on my bike.  As I rode down Gates Ave, I found a shiny penny next to a green classic 70's car that had a for sale sign on it.  I hadn't mapped a decent bike route to the park, so I turned on Nostrand.  The traffic was heavy.  I kept thinking to myself that I needed to take a less trafficked road with a bike lane next time I rode to the park (I think I'll drive next time now).

www.mapmyride.com - this has worked for my runs and rides.  I just need to take the time to do it.

Atlantic was buzzing with traffic.  I was able to cross half way with no problem.  Nostrand starts up a hill at that point.  I stopped at the intersection, noticed a shiny nickel in the road, then waited for the "walk" signal to let me know I could move forward.  I saw the walk signal and put my head down for the climb…five feet later a black SUV's front fender and light smashed into me.  I put my leg out to catch myself, but ended up flat on the road anyway.  All I could decide to do was to get out of the road.  I picked myself up and my bike and hustled as fast as I could to the sidewalk.

I was immediately surrounded by a bunch of colorful characters asking if I was alright and saying I should sue.  I was more concerned with the fact that my steering wheel was at a 90 degree angle away from my bike.  My whole body started shaking uncontrollably.  Then this Indian American guy with some pretty bad crossed eyes comes running up to say he was sorry and I was I ok.  The traffic cop had waved him through the intersection.  I insisted I was ok while all the people around me suggested I sue and were yelling at him.

Then the traffic cop came over.  I insisted I was ok.  I was just shaken up.  She then explained to me what I had done wrong and that the walk signal was not what I was supposed to follow when there was a traffic cop (she was on the other side of the street, where no one walking would see her).  I yelled at her and told her it was her fault I could have been killed.  I wasn't very polite.  I told her I knew the law and she was wrong (I will now have to look it up because I probably am wrong).  She asked me to calm down, and then asked what I did.  She said her job was dangerous, and cars hit her all the time.  She asked where I lived, and I told her I lived in Bed Stuy but worked at University Hospital as a fundraiser.  She asked what I meant.  I explained that I raised money for medical school scholarships.  Then she proceeded to ask me how to get more scholarships for her daughter in college.

NYC Bike Safety Laws

I was still pretty angry, but I calmly explained the best way to get scholarships in my opinion and that I couldn't help her by getting her daughter scholarships.  Frustrated and still shaking, I rode up one block and around the corner to where I couldn't be seen.  My bike wouldn't ride anyway.  One of the wheels is seriously bent and it looked like a clown bike.

I called my brother to calm me down, then my sister, and neither answered.  I then made the mistake of calling my mother.  I love her, but she always reacts terribly to things.  We talked until I got home (I found a dime in front of the laundry mat on the corner).

Now I'm sitting here, still a little shaky, noticing the scrapes on my legs and feeling a little muscle ache. I'll be ok in time.  That work out will have to wait until tomorrow.

Update: Bike is fixed and I'm riding again thanks to the store called Bike Slug.

A dozen if it were pennies.

The loot for today!

Since I've been biking to work, I don't really notice all of the money I probably could if I was walking. Today, I stopped at the light near work to walk my bike across the cross walk.  As I stopped I noticed a shiny dime gleaming in the light in the bus lane.  I walked quickly over to get it as a bus pulled up.  I don't think the bus drive was very happy with me walking into the bus lane to pick it up.  Then, as I walked around the front of the bus, there was a shiny penny right in front of the bus.  I knew he was stopped and picking up people, so I grabbed it.  

Penny number two was in the middle of the bike lane about two blocks from home.  I left work at approximately 5:30, but the traffic was lighter then normal.  

I didn't end up leaving the house last night, so no other pennies found there.  I still feel blessed to have money come into my life daily.  In fact, I don't think any of my savings accounts earned me 12 cents today.  The market took a crash, so my investments didn't earn me that today either.  

May you all be blessed with prosperity.